Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
