Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
