i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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