I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
