woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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