The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
