Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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