you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
