there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
