You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
