and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
