If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
