your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
