just survived the first fart of the relationship.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
