I hope mine doesn't look like that
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
