then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The uberlube is also flammable
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
