your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
