i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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