jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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