i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
