anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
