so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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