yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Randomize
