if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
