Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
