Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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