Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
