I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
