i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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