I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
