I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
