I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
zippers are such a cool invention
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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