We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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