:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
