so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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