Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
