just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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