god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
