The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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