Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my shit smells like andre
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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