How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he laminated a picture of his dick.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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