i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
tell me about the fingering
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