Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
