I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
