if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
