none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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