OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize