Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
