The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
