I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
