well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
