somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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