she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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