She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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