We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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