If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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