just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
