Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize