Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
