Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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