he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
