A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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