I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize