I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
