she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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