We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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